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Head Over Wheels: Her Story
Growing up with Cerebral Palsy I often wondered if I would ever experience my happily ever after. The fairytales my mom read me always followed the life of a beautiful princess falling in love with a handsome prince. You never read about a prince and princess in wheelchairs or with any type of disability for that matter.
Shelby, a dark haired woman wearing a white dress sitting in a wheelchair next to David who is wear in Blue shirt and khaki pants sitting in his wheelchair.
Saved by the Mom Squad
We got the diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy when Lelia was 18 months. I was really happy, as we didn’t know what was wrong with her before then. She had low tone. She couldn’t roll over. She couldn’t sit up. Of course she didn’t walk. The diagnosis gave it a name, something I could work with, and I became a kind of vigilante mother, determined to get the best care for my daughter.
Photo of Lelia Purky wearing a straw har with a yellow flower with blue doodles
Head Over Wheels: His Story
Dating can be scary, all of the questions that go through your head before a first date can often be overwhelming. What do I wear? What do we talk about? Does my breath stink? These are common concerns before any normal date. My brain was wrapping itself around the idea that this was my FIRST DATE EVER.
Photo of David Stoner, wearing a blue shirt, sitting in his black wheel chair with a tree in the background.
Risky Behavior
All adolescents and young adults experience some peer pressure to engage in drinking or other risky behaviors. Adolescents with cerebral palsy engage in risky behaviors just like other teenagers. Some families find it helpful to sign what's called, a Contract for Life, or a Contract for Safety, with their child. The parent agrees not to yell in the moment and to have a conversation about it the next day. That's one way that adolescents and parents can create some zone of safety around drinking.
Family holding a contract for safety
People with Disabilities Also Have Diverse Sexualities and Gender Identities
A year ago, I wrote in my Forbes column about the decades-long pattern of Pride Month celebrations excluding people with disabilities. The underlying reason why Pride events were (and still are) mostly inaccessible for people with disabilities, both in terms of physical spaces and social acceptance, is that mainstream media and public don’t see them having identities outside of their disabilities.
"People with Disabilities Also Have Diverse Sexualities and Gender Identities" is written in text above a representation of different people, some using wheelchairs, some using crutches, some standing without assistance. The representations of people are all in different colors reminiscent of the pride flag
Talking About Sex
Up to 50% of adolescents with cerebral palsy have an intellectual disability, as well as a physical disability. Adolescents with intellectual disabilities still need sexual health education, they just need it in a way that's more individualized so that they can understand it and use it.
Representation of a woman surrounded by sexual education related text
How I’ve Learned to Celebrate My Late Birth Mother
Saturdays were special as a kid growing up in Port Washington, New York. Saturdays meant Burger King outings with my grandparents, a great big slice of trade-marked Hershey’s chocolate pie for me and piping hot oatmeal for them. And we can’t forget about the Kids Meal toys. But on this particular Saturday, everything was different - at the tender age of five, I started to notice that certain aspects of my life were just off.
"How I’ve Learned to Celebrate My Late Birth Mother" written in text to the right of an image or writer, Sarah Kim, as a child
Friendships in the Time of COVID-19
I don’t know if this is just me, but my time in quarantine has made me have weird flashbacks to my childhood. As a kid growing up with CP, especially with a speech impediment and mobility limitations, my lifeline to making and keeping friends was through AIM (AOL Instant Messenger, for those of you who are too young to remember) and one of the first video chatting platforms, ooVoo. Fast forward 15 years, many of us are in a similar situation. To slow the spread of COVID-19, most of life has moved online, including friendships.
"Friendships in the Time of COVID-19" written in text below an image of writer Sarah Kim
Navigating CP and Depression at the Same Time
There is insufficient research on adults living with cerebral palsy, (as referenced in my previous blog post on cerebral palsy and adulthood). Although there is a paucity of studies examining mental health in this population, medical researchers have speculated that the rate of depression is three to four times higher in people with disabilities such as CP than it is in the general population.
"Navigating CP and Depression at the Same Time" is shown in text above an illustration of a person in a wheelchair colored in blue