Kamisha's Journey: Discovering Sexual Identity When You Have a Disability
My life is like a roller coaster. For five minutes I go up, then I go down, then I go sideways. It's a process.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't in a chair. Would things be much easier for me? Then I have to take a step back and say, "Kamisha, you need to be who you are." Whatever obstacle comes my way, I'm just going to knock it down the best way I can and be like, you know what? Screw you all. I'm still going to be the fun, crazy Kamisha. I don't think the wheelchair defines who I am.
I'm a part of a program that helps people with disabilities do community service. One day we were doing a leadership seminar and my boss was like, "So Kamisha, we are going to do this game to talk about our identities." We filled out cards. I wondered what to put on it. I was just staring at this card. They were like, "You can put whatever you want." I put a question, mark. I thought to myself, "Am I a question mark?" I'm not a question mark.
I'm trying to feel myself out and I don't know myself completely yet. I went to this year's Boston Pride. When I got home, I was taking stuff out of my bag. I had crazy stuff and my mom wanted to see. And I was like, "Mom, whatever." She grabbed the shirt out of my bag and she was like, "Kamisha, do you have something to tell me?" "You know what mom? I do? I'm bisexual." She thought I meant transgender. I was like, "No, I'm not transgender."
So I sat down with her. "So this is when a girl or a guy likes both." She was like, "I'm glad you told me. As long as you're happy, I'm happy." I went to sleep that night and I woke up. "Wait, did I just tell my mom I was bisexual?" I went back to my mom. "So mom, how do you really feel about it?" She was like, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy. I'll get used to it. I'm fine with it personally."
You know, the whole coming out thing, out of my whole family, only my mom and my sister know. The others don't know. So, I'm planning to tell them on my birthday and be like, "Surprise." By the way, I did tell my doctor.
"I'm still going to be the fun, crazy Kamisha. I don't think the wheelchair defines who I am."