Growing up with Cerebral Palsy I often wondered if I would ever experience my happily ever after. The fairytales my mom read me always followed the life of a beautiful princess falling in love with a handsome prince. You never read about a prince and princess in wheelchairs or with any type of disability for that matter.
The hardest part of raising two children with Cerebral Palsy is the fact that we live in a world that refuses to adapt to anything beyond ordinary. And I have always -- always -- known that Benjamin and Mason were far beyond ordinary.
Dating can be scary, all of the questions that go through your head before a first date can often be overwhelming. What do I wear? What do we talk about? Does my breath stink? These are common concerns before any normal date. My brain was wrapping itself around the idea that this was my FIRST DATE EVER.
My boys were exactly the same amazing, lovable, adorable, brilliant little boys after the diagnosis, that they had been before it. The exact same.
A year ago, I wrote in my Forbes column about the decades-long pattern of Pride Month celebrations excluding people with disabilities. The underlying reason why Pride events were (and still are) mostly inaccessible for people with disabilities, both in terms of physical spaces and social acceptance, is that mainstream media and public don’t see them having identities outside of their disabilities.
Owen is our third baby and after a healthy pregnancy and making it to 38 weeks, I thought we would coast into life with three kids and adapt to the beautiful chaos that is life outnumbered by little ones. Somewhere in between, I ended up watching as my newborn baby was packed up into a life-flight helicopter and whisked away before I even got a chance to hold him. I would do whatever it took to get to Owen at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, I would will him from hundreds of miles away to hang on, to fight long enough for me to get there – and then we could do “whatever it took” together.
What we learned from our defensive lifestyle is that it’s normal to feel this way. It is a lot of information to process all at once and it’s an emotional rollercoaster immediately following a CP diagnosis. We realized that our diagnosis wasn’t what defined our child. She is an amazing little girl who is full of personality, she isn’t a fragile flower that needs to be sheltered, and by realizing this we were able to go on the offensive, and attack the challenges head on.