Becoming a Mom With Cerebral Palsy: What I Wish I Knew

The nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach wasn’t just from the pregnancy hormones raging inside of me — I was pregnant and absolutely terrified. Motherhood was always my dream, and I was so thankful for our sweet baby. Yet, I constantly questioned my ability to be the best mom for my daughter. As an adult woman with cerebral palsy, the path to becoming a mom was one of the most challenging (and rewarding) walks of my life. I summoned every ounce of strength and courage I had — mentally, physically, and spiritually — to allow my already foreign body to become a complete mystery to me.

If I could go back and talk to my former self, I’d start by hugging her, wiping the tears from her eyes, and telling her softly: “Girl, you have no idea how strong you are.”

Here’s what I wish I had known then, and maybe what another mama out there needs to hear now:

You’ll Grieve Parts of Motherhood. And That’s Okay.

No one told me that becoming a mom with a disability would come with some unexpected grief.

I remember crying one night because I couldn’t rock my baby standing up the way I saw other moms do. I thought I was failing. But, I wasn’t.

I was just finding my own way.

I wish I knew in that moment that grief and gratitude can co-exist in the same heart — and that both are valid.

You’ll Do Things Your Own Way. And That’s the Right Way.

I was so caught up in comparing myself to “normal” able-bodied moms, that I truly believed if I couldn’t do things a certain way, I was not doing them correctly.

My daughters don't care that I can’t do everything like other moms. To them, my gait, slower pace, and balance issues have always been a part of our days. The most important thing to my girls is that I show up, ready to give them my all. And I do — every single day, in my own way.

You’ll Need Help, and You Probably Won’t Want to Ask for It. Ask Anyway.

As a disabled woman, I do everything in my power to do as much on my own as I possibly can.

That, however, is not always feasible — especially when caring for a precious bundle of joy.
I had to swallow my pride and put my daughter's safety above my need to prove to myself and others that I could do things by myself. There were times I thought asking for help made me less of a mother. Like needing help somehow meant I wasn’t enough.

Now I know better.

I’ve learned that letting people help — my husband, family, and friends — has made me a stronger mom. Without my husband and our strong support system, I wouldn’t be the mom that I am today. Asking for help when you need it doesn’t make you weak — it makes you wise.

You CAN Do This!

I’ve always wanted kids. Yet, I often questioned if I could do it.

If you had asked me before I became a mom, I would’ve listed all the things I feared I couldn’t do. But now, I see everything I can do — everything I have done.

You Were Made for This, Mama!

To the fellow mama with CP reading this, you are not alone. You are not broken. And you do not have to do this the “normal” way to do it beautifully.

You will grieve. You will rise. You will build a life that fits you — and it will be powerful.

Because you, my friend, are that mom with CP.

And that’s your superpower.