What can we do about our feelings?

What can we do about our feelings?

There is a lot of talk in the world about emotions. From INSIDE OUT, BLUEY and even on WEDNESDAY, feelings are finally getting some attention!

I am a therapist for adults, kids, teens and families. I also have moderate CP. I spend a lot of time listening and teaching how to talk about feelings. One of the most important lessons that I tell people about, is the idea of BOTH/AND. It means, we can have more than one feeling at a time. Maybe a good example is how kids sometimes feel at the start of summer vacation. It is both exciting and a relief to be out of school for the summer AND kids always miss their friends (and teachers?).

We talk about bigger examples too: how sometimes kids’ and adults can feel both nervous about a new, upcoming event, and excited to brave another challenge.

For kids and adults with CP, there is a LOT of both/and in everyday life. As a fellow CP warrior, learning about both/and, understanding the world has A LOT of different feelings, has helped me make much more sense of MY many feelings and learn how to manage them. But how in the world do we MANAGE FEELINGS?

I think this begins with a concept I learned from Mr. Rogers. He said, “Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.” 

He thought it was really important for all people, not just kids, to be able to talk to safe people about the deep feelings that we try to bury sometimes, because when we communicate, (however our own best way is,) then we can figure out what we need, especially if some of our feelings are hard or difficult to have or say.

I know that living in a body with CP is unique, sometimes difficult and sometimes it is really similar to your friends and family around you. On the days that having CP is challenging, I think it is extra important to take care of yourself, all those feelings and your body. When we can mention how we feel, then we figure out or manage what we need to feel better.

Here are some ways we can mention our feelings, beyond saying them: 

• Writing our thoughts or even just words that seem to match what our bodies feel. 
• Drawing, painting how we feel with colors, symbols, scribbles, doodles or even emojis!
• Dancing, jumping, kicking the air or pillows, anything that will not get hurt by our movements.
• Using pictures (that you find in a magazine, books or even your own experiences) to express what we currently feel.

After we get some of the feelings OUT of our bodies and we know it is ok, then comes the managing:

• Build a self-care box, including things that help you feel peace and calm.
• Get a bit of movement – something you enjoy!
• Scream in a pillow!
• Take deep breaths, go somewhere calm and inviting in your house and notice things around you.

Can you think of any others? With practice, these all get easier! Let’s try…. because IF we can mention, then we CAN manage.