CPF LIVE! with Christina Smallwood - Transcript

Rachel:

Hi, everybody. Welcome to our Instagram live that we've got happening today. We have a really special guest who will be joining us, Christina Smallwood. She is an incredible mom to a daughter named Finley. Some of you will know her from her Instagram account, Fifi + Mo. We were lucky enough to partner with them at the start of the year for our Lexus commercial. If any of you have not seen that commercial, please go onto our YouTube page. It's a three part series that we did, in conjunction with Lexus, to develop a ride-on car. It was really wonderful project to do with Christina, and Finley, and her family and, of course, in partnership with Lexus. I'm just going to wait to see if Christina has joined. Not quite yet, but as soon as she does we will start. But please, as always, put questions in the comments below and we will try to answer them as we can. I can just see now Christina has joined us, hopefully that's going to work.

Christina Smallwood:

Hi.

Rachel:

Hi.

Christina Smallwood:

Hello.

Rachel:

How are you?

Christina Smallwood:

Good. How are you guys?

Rachel:

We are good. It's so good for you to join us. We're so excited to have you on today.

Christina Smallwood:

Thank you for having me. You look gorgeous.

Rachel:

Oh, I'm trying. You are the queen of the messy top knot. I tried to do it, and it did not work.

Christina Smallwood:

I've been rocking this thing for a week.

Rachel:

It looked so good. It looked so good. I love it.

Christina Smallwood:

Thanks.

Rachel:

I love it.

Christina Smallwood:

It's my go-to.

Rachel:

First of all, how are you? How is the family? We know we're in crazy times, we've been in isolation now almost coming up eight weeks. So, how is everything going?

Christina Smallwood:

It's going surprisingly well. Finley, I tried to get her to come say hi, and she's so shy. She's been doing Zooms with her class, and she breaks down because it's just a bunch of faces looking at you. I'm like Finley, "They can't see you. They can't see you. They just see the teacher." But, she freaks out. She's like, "I don't want to go on there." But she's going to be bummed when she sees it, then she's going to want to do it again. But it's been going surprisingly well since the twins came. For those of you who don't know, we are foster-adopting a set of twins as well. They just turned two, actually during the quarantine, so it's been an adventure to say the least.

Rachel:

Definitely. Well, you are a super mom. I also want to say, happy belated mother's day for Sunday.

Christina Smallwood:

Oh, you too.

Rachel:

You have the most beautiful family. As I said, I got the fortunate experience to actually come and spend time with you to make this commercial. I must say, we had the best time. You've just said that Finley is shy. I will tell everyone, I have never seen a more natural person on camera-she is just a phenomenal little girl.

Christina Smallwood:

Yes. What you see is what you get with Fin. She's got this bold confidence, but she's timid at first. When we're out and about people come up to her, "Finley." It hasn't happened in a while, but people assume and they feel like they know her. She's just like, "Mm." But yeah, it was so fun getting to spend time with you for the commercial and everything. That was in the brunt, the twins had been with us not even a few weeks.

Rachel:

I know. You were an incredible. For anyone that doesn't know, Christina opened up her complete home, not only to our team at CPF, but the complete film crew and all the team from Lexus, as well. To have newly twins at home as well, it was amazing.

Christina Smallwood:

Oh, it was a sight. It was unbelievable. It was an experience. I'm like, "Wait, there's a trailer. There's a crew here." We're getting used to these twins. Finley loved it. She's like, "They're all here for me." She loved every second of it, and especially the food in the garage. She thought a caterer in the garage was everything.

Rachel:

I know. I think all of us right now, I would love to have a caterer in my garage. I have been making meals-

Christina Smallwood:

I miss those burritos.

Rachel:

Breakfast, lunch, and dinners.

Christina Smallwood:

The best breakfast burritos ever.

Rachel:

We've got lots of people who have now joined us, but please leave your questions or comments in the section below, and we'll try to answer them.

Christina Smallwood:

Yes.

Rachel:

But first, I'd love to get your thoughts around the project, and what we did to make the ride-on car for Finley, and just what that meant to her and your family.

Christina Smallwood:

It was so cool. Finley's used to us recording videos, and stuff like that. But to see such a beautifully put together video that they did, it was unbelievable. It's just been really, really cool and different. It feels monumental, it feels different. Based on people's reactions to it, I've gotten amazing, incredible feedback from people saying how cool it was to have a door like this opened, an adaptive door open and, "I wish that was around when I was little."

Christina Smallwood:

That's always been my biggest focus, how can I help the future generations, especially Finley's generation? As she gets older, [inaudible 00:06:09] and more accepting, more adaptability. It was just really, really cool to be able to be a part of that project. I know if we weren't and we got to watch it, we would've been just as emotional about it because of how incredible it really is, if you think about. It was awesome.

Rachel:

I know. We're really hoping it's just the beginning in this new trend.

Christina Smallwood:

Yes.

Rachel:

That's takes me to a question for you know. When you first started Fifi + Mo, you now have this huge following and you've got these responsibilities as an advocate, what did you think it was going to turn into? Did you have any idea it was going to turn into the mammoth advocacy channel that it is?

Christina Smallwood:

No, because a lot of times we're still learning. Then when you start to walk the walk, and it starts to become something, people start to come to you for things. I found that the best way I can help someone is, provide them with a resource. That's what you guys do. Truly, that's what it is. That's what helping people is. Just saying, "Hey, you know what? You're going to have to walk through the shoes for you to deal with this, learn from this, " but having those resources there. I remember even when she first was diagnosed, I couldn't find anything. I found one account, and that's what inspired us to start this, and now there's so many. I think it's incredible. Even just in the seven years that we've had Fifi + Mo, actually I think we've had Fifi + Mp, female, it's just so different now on social media.

Rachel:

Yes, absolutely.

Christina Smallwood:

But I do feel a responsibility, so I've always done my best to be transparent and bring people along the venture with us-even though it's shifting with what I'm comfortable talking about, and things like that.

Rachel:

No, definitely. Sorry, I got distracted there. We were talking about this, working from home has just been quite the thing to handle girl-

Christina Smallwood:

Girl.

Rachel:

Both of us have young children. I've got a four year old, a two year old, and a six month old. It's like, "Ah," trying to manage. To have the platform that you have, and obviously all the incredible things that you've done with Finley, I think it was monumental when she was in the Target commercial, for example. The amount of young children that can now be seen and say, "She looks like me," how important is that for you to do those things? Did they just happen naturally?

Christina Smallwood:

No.

Rachel:

How did that work out for you?

Christina Smallwood:

I remember when we first started Fifi + Mo, they did model calls. I would dress her up, and she would sit on a stool, and she'd smile, and I'd submit her. I actually remember a few people saying, "We need her to stand. We need this and that." I would explain to them that she wasn't able to and they'd go, "Oh, okay. Well, reach back out when she can." I quickly realized that not everyone's going to love and accept her the way I do. So as we've grown with the account, I have realized exactly how important representation.

Christina Smallwood:

Back then, and this was only six years ago, you did not see representation. I think there's two ways. It goes, "Oh, okay. That's, they're doing a good thing." The charity thing really gets me. On one hand, yes, we want to be considered accepted, we want them to be considered accepted and equal, and what is normal. There's no definition of normal. We all have differences. But that part gets me, when people were like, "Oh, that's a very good thing." I'm like, "No, it's just the way it is."

Rachel:

Exactly.

Christina Smallwood:

When she's not considered a special needs model, and just a model that has special needs, that's where we'll really have the win. I think we're years out from that, but I'll take what we can get.

Rachel:

But I think, in the last 12 months particularly, we have seen a break in that with these mainstream companies realizing that diversity needs to include individuals with disabilities as well because, for so often, diversity obviously included different racial or ethnic groups, and making sure women were represented, and all those different things. But, disability needs to be done as well, particularly children. They are growing up and, in their formative years, they need to be able to see, "Oh, that person looks just like me." So what you have done with Fifi + and Mo, we absolutely love following you. We love watching your story and how it's grown, but we also just want to say thank you. The work that you've done to put your family out there like that is changing so many people's lives.

Christina Smallwood:

You're so sweet. Thank you for saying that.

Rachel:

It's really, really important. I hope people really do listen to that bit that you said, it's not about charity. This isn't about choosing someone just because they have a disability, you're choosing that person because they represent what your brand needs to be, or you're choosing that person because they are the expert in that area.

Christina Smallwood:

Yeah. It's so true there. There just needs to be more handicap spots too, but it's okay [inaudible 00:11:58].

Rachel:

Yes. The list could be this long. I feel like we've come a long way, but it's still this long. There's still so much more to do. There has been a question that's been asked, and I do want to touch on it. Obviously, during this time, we talked about how we're going to juggle all these different pieces. What are some of the best tips that you've found, and the favorite activities that you are currently doing at home?

Christina Smallwood:

Baking. Finley is so into baking. I wouldn't consider myself a woman of the kitchen. I'm getting more comfortable with it. But she watches these YouTubes and she's like, "We need this tool. We need that tool." I think she's really found a way to be creative through that. She also runs a daycare upstairs. There's nine babies in Finley's daycare.

Rachel:

I love it.

Christina Smallwood:

Oh, it's a full-blown daycare. She gets real stressed out. She's like, "I can't leave these babies." It's hilarious. But activity-wise, we do some physical therapy-which we learned from NAPA Center. We do a lot of the CME therapy still, I feel like that's the best for her core strength and barefoot. The twins are two and able-bodied, so Finley's found a way because she can communicate better, and they listen to her. She has them doing her errands for her. Like, "I need that."

Rachel:

I love that.

Christina Smallwood:

Yeah. It's been full of teachable moments when they do something, and we praise them for doing something, and then she says, "Oh, I can't do that." I'm like, "No, you do it differently." So it's a lot of these teachable moments while we go throughout the day with all kinds of different things that pop up. It's as simple as potty training them. We try to include her as much as possible on helping, albeit, you're mom of multiple children, it's hard to that minute to breathe, slow down and say, "Okay, let's make this a learning moment."

Rachel:

I think it's really interesting, you bring up something that we get asked a lot. When should children be taught self-advocacy skills? You're a hundred percent right, it needs to start really young. Being able to give her those skills to advocate for herself, and to be able to get what she needs when she needs it, is so important.

Christina Smallwood:

Absolutely.

Rachel:

We've had a discussion before about the current situation, and what's happening, and how sometimes that can drive anxiety. How are you finding coping with those different things for Finley, because she does find it difficult to go from one room to another without assistance?

Christina Smallwood:

Well, she wants to do that and we have baby gates everywhere. So even just the abilities that she had, and access in the house, has changed since the twins came. There's gates everywhere for their safety. Sometimes I do feel awful that her accessibility has taken a backseat to their safety. But again, we make it a teachable moment, we explain to her. Honestly, I do believe that's just one of the hard things of life that we have to go through. But it's caused her anxiety to go very, very high. She actually cried because she didn't want to come on here. I'm not about forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to do. You were there at the commercial shoot, she loved every second of it.

Rachel:

Oh my gosh, she was amazing.

Christina Smallwood:

Yeah, it's just funny. She likes to do things on her time. Let's say I have to take a twin to go potty since we're working on potty training, and I leave the room for one second, she knows she relies on me for physical assistance-if she needs help, if she needs to do anything, so her anxiety goes through the roof and it's hysteria for me to come back, and then the other one feels it. There's some high, high stress times.

Christina Smallwood:

I think a lot of times we're creating awareness for CP as far as accessibility, but there isn't a lot of awareness for the anxiety that can come along with it.It's not like, "Oh, just practice, tough love. Just leave her alone." "No, she knows she needs a person to do something. Imagine how you would feel if you were in a hospital bed and you needed people, you'd have anxiety too." Patience is a virtue. We're constantly learning. There's a lot of hard times that come with a lot of this, but we put on a happy face. But I'm always here to be transparent and talk about-

Rachel:

I think that's what we love most as well, it's the good, the bad, and everything in between. Life isn't this cookie cutter, everything's perfect. That can be tricky when you look at Instagram, and you can look at other people that put things out there-they put the good. We really need to know that there are times when it is really hard. While we can also cherish those moments-that it was a beautiful experience, and you can take that understanding what that means-not only for parents, but then also for young children as well.

Christina Smallwood:

Yeah. Then the other side of the coin is, "Well, I can't even believe you're complaining about it," when you're just being real, and saying, "Well, you knew what you were getting into." That's just the thing, you'll never be able to please everybody.

Rachel:

That is true. That is true. There is a question here, and I think this goes onto a little bit what we were just talking about. Have you seen a boost in Finley's confidence since the ride-on car? Have you seen a change in that? I can say to everybody that, at the very beginning when we were there, she found it really difficult to drive that car. It was not as easy for her. Obviously, the commercial made it look wonderful. But, how has she learned to drive the car? What's that experience like for her?

Christina Smallwood:

It's amazing. She loves it. It's parked in the garage. My car's actually not even parked in the garage, it took my car spot. She loves it. She can get in and out of it, she can turn it on, she can do everything. She knows how to help us charge it, so she's helping taking care of the car. Honestly, she probably rides it once a week, you guys. I just can't video tape it because the twins often are right there, and I'm not allowed to share their face on social media. I could face some things, so it's so hard. I want to share all the time about her in the car. I just have two little ones, and we can't even say their names on social media, and Finley calls them by their name. But, we love it.

Rachel:

Of course. Yeah. I think that's a good thing for people to know that there is this reality behind the social media as well, and that you're only seeing a small glimpse of everyone's lives. It's such a good reminder, particularly right now, because I feel like a lot of us are consumed on social media just because we're all stuck at home.

Christina Smallwood:

Yes.

Rachel:

You have so many fans on here. Everyone has been like, they love watching you, "Thank you for the advocacy work that you're doing." They know what that feels like, they're really resonating.

Christina Smallwood:

Thank you, guys.

Rachel:

[inaudible 00:19:57] with Finley. "Hi, I'm from the UK. I see so much of Fin in my daughter, and we both love watching you all." I do know that you are reaching so many people with the work that you are doing. As I said, we are so grateful for everything that you've done.

Christina Smallwood:

Oh, thank you, guys. You guys have paved the way. Honestly, you've made our lives better just by being in existence. It was truly a pleasure. I'm going to get emotional. I always do.

Rachel:

No, you're not allowed to cry.

Christina Smallwood:

It was like just such a pleasure meeting you guys. I'm so grateful for you taking the steps before us, and everything you do on an advocacy level to just make inclusivity happen, and Make May Matter, and for inviting us onto the project, It was such a blessing, and I know it's opened so many doors for Finley and for CP, as well.

Rachel:

That makes a really good point. Everybody, this month we are doing Make May Matter. We wanted to do Make March Matter, because it was Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. But obviously, with everything that happened with the pandemic and everyone just wanting to stay safe around the world, we've decided to do it this month. This month, you can contribute in so many different ways. You can decide, "All right, I'm going to set myself a new goal this month. I'm going to get out and exercise. I'm going to go help a neighbor." Obviously, any support that you can give the foundation with the work that we do, we are obviously always so appreciative of that. But it really is the time we think to pick a goal, and do something about it.

Christina Smallwood:

I love it.

Rachel:

I know you've been doing huge things with your work, and making all those things happen. We're all watching it and going, "Oh, my God. Christina is absolutely killing it in work, life, family, and all of it." But we are here to support everybody, so please let us know on our posts what you are doing this month to Make May Matter.

Christina Smallwood:

Oh, I love that. I love anything that has a positive call to action because, you guys, action is free. We can just do the smallest thing, and make a huge impact. I encourage anyone that's watching this, as soon as we get off, even just text someone something so kind and nice. You just have no idea, you could change a day around. Honestly, I'm a big believer, positivity spreads so fast. I love it. I love Make May Matter. I'm stoked about it.

Rachel:

I love it. There is just so many things. I second that, Canada loves you. We love Finley, she is the cutest.

Christina Smallwood:

So cute.

Rachel:

Yeah, it is amazing the support that you guys have out there. So we, as I said, can't thank you enough. I will let you go, because you have a little family that I am sure is needing your attention. We can't wait, probably should chat again soon. If anyone has questions, let us know and we will try to get on again soon. But, have a wonderful day. [inaudible 00:23:01]

Christina Smallwood:

Thank you. I know, as soon Finley sees this, she's going to want to come on.

Rachel:

That we are sending love to her, and can't wait to chat soon.

Christina Smallwood:

I will. Thank you so much. But, guys.

Rachel:

All right, bye.

Christina Smallwood:

Thank you.

Rachel:

Bye.

Christina Smallwood:

Bye