Learning to Adjust

Learning to adjust…

How many times have you had a plan in your head about something you need/want to do, only to have things change at the last minute?  Maybe it’s plans to go to the beach with a friend when suddenly, the weather changes and steals your sunshine. Or it’s the moment when you get a fever just a few short hours before leaving for summer camp and now you are unable to go. OR, perhaps it is how, with CP, you and your family have to think on the fly about accessibility everywhere you go, and no matter how much you plan, there is always something more to think about. One of the things that has been “normal” for me living with CP, is that things are always changing - especially my body. On days with stormy or high-pressure weather patterns, I have noticed how I can go to bed feeling fine, but wake up in the morning with my muscles tighter than usual and much more spasticity.  Some days, we all have to adjust to many different feelings and scenarios. 

I wonder if you feel this too? I recently read a book called My Big Toe by Chris Klein. He described how difficult it was growing up and learning to trust others with his personal care, teachers who he was unfamiliar with or even acquaintances, due to his CP. Chris uses an assistive device to speak to others, and in reading his recently published book, I have learned much more about what it means to adjust. 

For all of us, the idea of adjusting is so important in understanding ourselves, those around us and the kindness that can happen when offered with care and understanding. Let me try to explain:

Think of an image in your mind, a memory, when you were asked, encouraged, or even told you could not do what you planned…Imagine how you thought, what you felt… can you feel that in your body as you realized that adjustment is needed? 

Take a deep breath, just noticing, what the adjustment means to you. As you remember in the here and now, is it something you can manage or do you need to give yourself something more? Just notice…with this phrase in mind….

“What do I need right now?” Perhaps, more deep breaths, a prayer, a moment to feel your feelings or reminding yourself how strong and capable you are. You could also relieve the frustration by throwing some stuffed animals or if possible, get a bit of exercise. I even tell people to throw eggs at trees sometimes to relieve stress! Talking to a parent, friend or trusted adult about our feelings and coming up with a new plan are also good options!

We can also remind ourselves that change and adjustment are normal and necessary - not always FUN, but both are a very regular part of what it means to be alive. A HUGE part of being a flexible adapter is noticing our feelings, being kind to ourselves and learning problem solving strategies; both with others and sometimes on our own. 

As much as it is difficult to have to adjust, it REALLY shows us just how able we are. That is where we start to feel much more powerful! When we KNOW that we CAN manage whatever comes up, we discover that things will be OK, somehow….

 “The strongest will is the will that knows how to bend.” – Alice Duer Miller