Having Hope

Having hope….

How often do you come up against a situation that feels impossible to handle? For each of us, this is probably on a daily basis, right? For kids and parents alike, I think it is just human nature to face challenges with a certain amount of doubt. 

For kids with disabilities and their parents, this feeling is ever present. There is so much thought, planning, questioning and hoping; advocating, trying and trying again on such a regular basis, that often we don’t know another way to be. The difficulty is, making friends with the fear of the impossible so that we don’t lose hope. 

How do we do THAT??

Yes, that is a good question…especially when we get tired, weary from fighting through daily needs, challenges at school, medical equipment needs and appointments and the list goes on. Sometimes it ALL feels impossible…

In my 30-year career as a social worker and therapist, I have seen many children, adults, couples and families face what seems impossible. There are some common characteristics with those who face impossible with fear and those who face it with hope.

1) Those who hold on to hope are able to admit and acknowledge feeling like it’s impossible. People seem to struggle more when they feel like they must have it all together, all the time. It is hard to be “perfect,” while facing challenges. None of us have it all together. We ALL get to be human and that means feeling all our feelings about many, many different things. 

2) Those who remain hopeful in the face of impossibility know that we all need a village around us to lean into when we are doing well and when we are not. No one is an island, even if we feel like it. It is easy to forget that we need each other, especially when there are so many demands and obstacles. These are exactly the moments when we need to reach out. Otherwise, things really might be impossible. 

3) Those who hope most often have a connection to a higher power. Some pray, some meditate, others find hope and help in ancestors who have come before us. Others have other sources of belief, power and help. I have seen the most hopelessness when we feel like we are in the fight against impossible alone. 

4) Hope is found when we remember to slow down, take care of ourselves and remember whatever we are up against is a marathon, not a sprint. I remind people of this truth so often! It is true whether we have a disability or are caregivers. There are so many situations which are longer, and require an attitude of “slow and steady wins the race.” When we forget to take care of ourselves, impossible situations tend to feel even worse. 

6) Finally, those I’ve seen who hold hope well, live with an attitude of “we can do hard things.” I am assuming if you are reading this article, you are already an expert in the area of HARD THINGS. For that, I am deeply sorry. And… I am guessing that you already know that, whether we want to or not, we can do hard things. We can wish we don’t, we can hurt, AND we can trust our capabilities. 

In a recent interview, the singer, Pink, said, “I’ve finally learned that I can handle whatever comes.” I wholeheartedly believe we all can. With love, support, kindness and pacing for ourselves and others, holding our hard difficulties AND hope ARE possible. We ALL need hope, no matter what.